Rich or poor, fortunate or unlucky, healthy or sick we all complain about something. No matter how blessed we are, we forget about how bad things used to be or could be. Sometimes we take things for granted and until something becomes worse we forget or don't realize it.
Theres a few things that aren't perfect about my current vehicle, like my front speakers are busted in my truck, but I remember the car I had before. It was a very small white Hyundai, my dad bought it for me for a whopping $200. The radio didn't work, and it had no cruise control. It also had a bad transmission leak and just burned through oil like you wouldn't believe. I forget how much better my truck is than that white Hyundai. I am also thankful that I HAVE a vehicle period! I remember the days of my parents driving me around with the windows down and their oldies music blaring as I melted down into the seat in embarrassment.
Living with MS can bring us into a state of mind that nothing works out, but if you count your blessings you'll never be empty handed. One year ago I had no job, was renting an insect infested $250 a month apartment, and lived in a town so small everyone has to go out of town to eat at a nice restaurant or go shopping or have a night out for fun. For some, it is a town of close relatives and friends. For others its a place of unemployment and crime.
I've been working at a job that I have fun doing for the last 2 months. I get outside of my house everyday for hours, not only that but I get paid for it too! They even gave me a vehicle to drive. I also get to work in some of the greatest hotels and restaurants in Memphis. Just the opportunity to work as an MS patient is gratifying and a privilege. I remember when I was in a place where I had no job, budgeting every dollar I got from disability month by month. Sometimes I catch myself complaining about having to wake up so early in the morning to go to work or not getting the closest parking spot at the office, even though there is usually a free one only 20 feet away. I just take for granted sometimes that I didn't always have a job to wake up early for or having to walk a much longer distance while using a cane.
I have always thought I've already accepted this disease, but there are times that I get so mad and frustrated when symptoms pop up as if they should never happen. You would think after 8+ years of being fatigued or not being able to speak seamlessly I would get used to it, but honestly I get tired of it. MS seems to be unrelenting at times, but I've had worst days and seem to forget about that. Heck, there are times I forget I have MS until something goes numb! Maybe that's a cue for me to wear my orange silicone bracelet.
One last thing, a note to self. If you ever get stressed out or distraught about something, reread this post so that you remember how much worse it used to be or can be!