Friday, January 21, 2011


So, for the first time in 8 years, I have a job! I've been working for a total of 3 days now and I love it. I've been wanting something like this for a long time. People might think the thing I'm happiest about is the fat pay check I'm going to get working here, but thats not it. Sure, this is the first time in a long time I will have financial stability, but the thing I'm the happiest about is liberation. Just experiencing the fact that I am able to work despite my disabilities is wonderful. I am no longer a prisoner of a disease (for the most part) or surrendering my desires for things that were unobtainable until now. To see that I can lift a heavy box or know that naps are no longer mandatory is truly magnificent! I know there will be those days, you know, those difficult days where I'm fatigued or weak, but until those days come I'm not going to worry about it. I've learned that you should never worry too much, if you do then when you fear about something and it doesn't happen, you've caused all that anxiety and worry for nothing. And if it does come, then at least you won't have twice lived that situation. And so what? Its not the end of the world.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A leap of faith

I lived in a small town in Arkansas for 26 years until August 2010. Helena, Arkansas was once a thriving community, but factories and plants have closed throughout the years, several business have closed, and a large population of people have moved out. It once had a bowling alley, skating rink, and a movie theater but the economic state of this city had put an end to many businesses. There have always been a shortage of jobs in my home town, and when you have M.S. those jobs go down even more.

At the age of 18 I worked my first job at a computer repair business. I learned everything I know about computers at that job but 6 months later I was diagnosed with M.S. and had to quit. Ever since then I was self employed because there weren't a lot of jobs I could successfully work. I was a natural at fixing computers, it was like the day I was born I was destined to be an IT employee.

Now I live in Northwest Mississippi, literally 2 miles from Memphis City limits. Me and my fiancée moved here  because of the endless opportunities this area has available. Not only are there jobs, but there are better restaurants, grocery stores, and entertainment that immensely improves our quality of life. My fiancée has been working at a car dealership before we moved.  She drove an hour both ways every weekday in my gas guzzler of a truck for a period of time. Now we live 20 minutes from her job. I've been searching for jobs ever since we moved to Mississippi and haven't had much luck. I only had 1 job interview but did not hear back from them even to this day.

But on this day, January 4th, 2011 I received a phone call from a manager and he requested a job interview with me tomorrow. I have been extremely stressed out and anxious about finding a job for several months, and with a wedding coming up in 7 months the pressure is definitely on. For 6 years I have collected disability, partly because I have M.S. but also with lack of job opportunities when I lived in Arkansas. Just living in a town that is on life support is disabling. This job means so much to me, its a POS technician  position that is somewhat like working on computers but I'll be servicing and installing Point of Sales peripherals that may require travel and work on nights and weekends and require lifting 60lbs. You may think to yourself that sounds like very daunting tasks for someone with multiple sclerosis to perform, but its nothing different than what I did as a computer technician. Its basically the same thing, except through a different medium. Its what I love to do. If I get picked for this job I am going to do this job with every fiber of my being and use every shred of experience I've ever had.

Also my fiancée signed up for nursing school today, she is going achieve an associates degree in nursing but is taking extra credits just in case she decides she wants a bachelors degree. From January to May she is going to take online and night classes while working 40 hours at the car dealership. It won't be easy, but telling us that we can't do anything because of M.S. just makes us more determined. Not many things in life go as easily as you want them, but nothing is strong without some kind of resistance. You can't build your biceps curling a paper towel tube, you have to work hard and use some 20lbs dumbbells!

So I am putting  my neck on the line, my game face is on, time to stop worrying and  just close my eyes and leap. Fate will carry me there. Things always work out for the best. Some of the greatest things that happened in my life was a result to the times I stopped worrying and let things take their course. There is a fortune cookie on my fridge that says "Expect the worst but hope for the best" and I live that every day of my life.